Funny Story

[Haseo Epitaph]

Okay so the other day at work we were busy doing cleaning and it was just me and one other employee in the store at this time. So we start talking and we got on the topic of our highschool days. Now the girl I was working with is ten years older than me but we're still close enough in age that we mesh pretty well as far as working together. So she starts telling me this story about a pet bird one of her friends had in highschool.

It was an African Gray Parrot named Paco. African Gray's are classified as one of the smartest birds and their ability to mimic human voices is just astounding. So she told me the first time she went over her friend's house and met this bird. It was so funny I wanted to tell you guys.

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Okay so the parrot was kept in this huge cage that went from floor to ceiling in the kitchen. Every time the bird met someone new he would sit there and keep repating "hello" over and over again until he got an answer.

So she walked into the kitchen and her friend's mom and siblings were all standing there and they were chuckling as the bird kept repeating "hello" over and over. So the mother tells her that the bird won't stop until she answers him. So she goes over to the cage and says "hello" back to the bird. The bird stops for a moment and then a second later screams "Fuck you!" at her! She is completely taken aback and her friend and her friend's family just start rolling with laughter! They knew the bird did this.

The bird had a rather foul mouth on him, but the family never bothered to stop him because it was just too funny. And the best part was it didn't sound like a bird talking, it actually sounded like a man speaking! The bird picked up his foul mouth when the parents use to watch things like MTV and when the family members started throwing swears around when they were fighting.

The bird learned all kinds of words and he began stringing them together, on his own, into phrases and sentences. And he was really good at interjecting these into the middle of people's conversations and it made it all the more funny. The bird was so smart he would start giving people compliments then insult them in the end.

For instance, the same night she left to go home she said the bird called out as she was leaving and said "Have a good night! ....bitch." And his other favorite thing to say was "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"

He would called people extremely dirty things as well. But no one cared because it was so funny coming from a bird. They often wondered if he actually understood what he was saying. Given how he used the phrases they honestly thought he did.

She then told me a funny yet sad story concerning this bird. Someone in her friend's family died. I want to say it was the grandfather. Anyway, after the funeral they held something at the house. They drew thick curtians around the bird to keep him quite while everyone was there. It worked for awhile, then out of no where the bird just shouts "God Damn It!" and everyone is looking around wondering who on earth just said that.

Here is the real kicker, the Priest was at the house too! And he was all "Who just said that?" Then the bird said it again. Then he started telling people to go to hell.

The mother was so embarrassed but she was trying not to laugh as she had to explain to the Priest that it was their pet bird saying all this and he was doing it to get attention. The priest, apparently was very suprised. At least he had a slight sense of humor.

To this day, her friend still has the parrot and he's picked up even more phrases. He's a riot XD. I told my mom that story and she started busting up laughing and she said she would love to have a bird that insulted people!

[Keon Kamori]

That is by far the greatest story I have ever heard of regarding a bird. Laughed until I cried.

[Haseo Epitaph]

I just told one of my real life friends and she made me go temporarily deaf laughing on the phone.

[elian]

Really funny and also fantastic.